He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
