end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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