I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
