Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
