do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
