Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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