Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
