I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
