Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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