Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
