dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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