Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have tasted many bathrooms
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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