No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
