Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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