found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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