Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
