Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize