Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
