i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
