your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Let's get the cat blown out
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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