remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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