Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Don't make out with my wife yet
im holly from the hills drunk
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
