Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
