She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
