I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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