loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize