and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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