I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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