I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
