Tell her she can't have a vagina
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
His hands were made for my vagina.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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