**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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