You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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