yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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