I puked a lego.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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