Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
