peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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