please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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