I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
