Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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