we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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