god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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