foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my poor anus
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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