I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
