You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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