He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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