I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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