i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
