just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
