Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
