I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
