Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
