you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
