worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
