Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
