I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
