my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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