Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
