Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
