so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
handjob tips. give me some.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
