And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
