Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
