I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We have started to decorate penises.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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