i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize