I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
